I remember for thefirst week I walked around with my smile entire time. And with every passing game, it's slowlyfading away. My March 11, 2012, I wrotemy diary again. I said, " I amslowly losing my happiness. I am too focus on getting good stats, wining games,and let me melt to Linsanity. I just need to play for God, and not put pressureon myself to play for everybody else. There was a change in my heart from playing for God to playing foreverybody else. The end result was ahuge emptiness, despite all the success that had come my way. Think about that for a second. I was in the middle of one of the most, ifnot the most miraculous season in the NBA history, and I am sitting here andfeeling this lost of joy. This was whenI realized how empty the thing of the world can be.
If I ask you guys, howmany of you guys want my life, or how many of you guys want what happened in mylife could happen in yours as well. I bet a decent amount were probably wantthat. But I want you to think about whatyou want the most. What is that one thing that you want so bad. Is it getting into the best college? Is it being the most popular or theprettiest? Is it find a perfect spouseor the best job? Or is it the mostsuccess or the most money? I mean,really think about it. What is yourpurpose in life?
This is what thesociety preaches. In high school, youwant the best grade. You take those best grade you could go to the bestcollege. You get to that college you getthe best internship. There you get thebest degree and the best honor you get the best job. When you get your job, you want the bestperformance and the best promotion. Youwant to be the best in your field, whether it's an engineer, a salesman, or aCEO. Now you want the best car, the bestvocation home, and best gadgets. Andthen, you find the best husband or wife, and you start the best family with thebest kids. And then what? You want more. You want your kids to get into the best highschool, to get the best grade, to get into the best college. I know what you laugh about it, but you thinkabout it, it's pretty true. I mean, say you have all that, if your lifeperfect? Do you all of sudden becomesatisfied and fulfilled? I wasn't.
The one thing that Iwant to share is that I've been to the top of the mountain. I've been to thetop of the world. I had my dream cometrue. Actually I've had lot more than mydream come true. And that wasn't enough.I had the best education, I felt that I had the best job, I had more money thanI ever thought I will have. But I am notsatisfied. Now I just want more. I want a championship. If I win a championship I want another one innext year. No matter how will I play inany one game, that next game I'm going to want to play very well as well. If Ilive like this, if I made my identity based on how many point that I score, howmuch money I have, how many game I win, I will never ever be satisfied. Maybe you chase the things of this world, youwill never be satisfied ither.
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